The Squirrel and the Chipmunk

(Earlier that day, I went to a Symposium with Reza Aslan on "How to Win a Cosmic War" and it was great. Everything he said were lessons that he taught in Islam and Politics last quarter, but it's still great. Going to readings is important for all writers, and I'm trying to go to as many as possible. Maya Angelou, Reza Aslan, David Sedaris. Next week, I'm going to reading by several UCR MFAs, including my workshop leader Holly Gaglio and my TA from last quarter Angela Thompson-Benchley. Both are women that I admire, having learned many Creative Writing lessons from them, and I am looking forward to hearing them read their works aloud.)

Last night (Thursday, 05-06-10), Chanel and I went to hear/see a reading by David Sedaris... and it was absolutely amazing!!! He read excerpts from his new book "The Squirrel and the Chipmunk". It's like a book of fables, and he told us the origin of the fables, or at least one of them. I wish I could write about his stories, but, since it's not released yet, I shouldn't and I won't.

During his in-between talks, he told us about how, on his tours, he will buy gifts for teenagers and distribute them to those who wait to meet him at his book signing. The best story was the Costco story...

David Sedaris and his brother in law went to Costco for lightbulbs and, in search of a good teenager gift, he saw a HUGE pack of condoms. Like, a truck load of condoms. Anyway, it was he and his brother, and I guess people were staring at them (he said his brother is a burly, bearded guy. I pictured a lumberjack). David Sedaris says, "We have to get something else, we have to get something else!" So, what does his brother decide to get: a five-pound box of strawberries. Now they have condoms, strawberries, and lightbulbs. More odd stares, and David Sedaris says, "We have to get something else, we have to get something else, please!" His brother-in-law waits. He contemplates what he could possibly need. "I guess I could use some olive oil..."

Anyway, the purpose of David Sedaris' huge box of condoms was for his teenager gifts on his book tour. (He has also had Greek paper clips, which look like regular paperclips except from Greece and... tissues?) I would have loved if David Sedaris had given me a condom and said something wildly and hilariously inappropriate. Hell, I wish David Sedaris had given me a paperclip. I would never use it. I would frame it. I would give it to my mom in a frame and beneath I would engrave a plaque: Greek Paperclip/Costco Condom, Courtesy of David Sedaris.

It was a great show, and I'm glad that Chanel and I were able to go together.

During question time afterward, though, between the reading and the book signing, the first guy to ask the question as completely insensitive: "How does it feel to be a homooo...ner? How does it feel to be a home owner?" David Sedaris paused and had to think about it for a second. "What? A home owner?" "Yeah, a home owner." He played off of it, but I'm pretty sure that he caught the original snide comment. I can't believe someone would ask that question.

After the reading, Chanel and I stood in line for the booksigning. It took us nearly three hours to get to the front of the line, but we made it. He asked Chanel her name, her major, and what kind of animal she wanted drawn in her book (she picked a giraffe; it's spotless, but wicked cute).

Then I asked him "Do you have any advice for a beginning writer?" and he answered me:
"My only real advice is to write everyday. Write everyday about anything. Don't have a blog. Know when it's alright to share your writing and when you need to keep it to yourself. But, just write everyday."

During his reading, he also said that you should read everything with confidence, something else I am going to take into consideration. Read with confidence. Check.

I am going to write everyday. I know I should anyway. I've been trying. Any author/writer would have given me the same advice (and they have), but hearing it directly from a world renowned and well-respected author, a man who I look up to as a writer, definitely has grounded it into me. I need to start carrying a notepad and two pens with me everywhere; two pens just in case one runs out of ink; a notepad so that it fits into my pocket easily.

He's got great laugh lines around his eyes, and a nice smile, and his voice is priceless. I would love to sit down with David Sedaris and have a conversation. Anything he says would be great. I could say that about anyone, though. I need to start writing down pieces of conversations that stand out to me, either positively or negatively.

All in all, David Sedaris was GREAT! Thank you so much for the ticket, Moma!!!

I was going to go on a monster tirade about how I lost my iPod. It'll be a small one. Pretty much, I freaked out, was assured by my friend that it was at his house, stopped worrying, but then was informed the next day that it was NOT at his house after all. It was almost time to go to David Sedaris, so I couldn't go look for it, but we went and searched around afterward in the midnight darkness. Couldn't find it. Today, I went and searched for it, retraced my steps three times, couldn't find anything, freaked out. I was really bummed and started crying. My iPod is my BABY. The same way people who text endlessly treat their cell phones-- that's the way that I treat my iPod. It's almost always with me. But now it's gone...

but. Because my momma is PHENOMINAL and EXTRAORDINARY and THE BEST MOM IN THE WHOLE WORLD, she got me a new iPod! OMIGOD! THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH, MOMMYYYYYY!!!! You're going to have to help me name it. The old one's name was Ringo Starr, but I feel like this one is going to have an even classier name. Ringo Starr's not a classy name at all.

And, just for the record, I would say that about my parents at any time, not just when it's related to material items, and they both know it.

So, yeah, that's the story of David Sedaris and the lost iPod. :)