i wake up alone knock loud i'm home

I am at a loss of what to say. It's Thursday. I have two more days at home, two more days to say goodbye to everyone. Two more days to check and sort the mail. Two more days to build my nest on the living room floor and sleep with Pancho curled up on my pillow. Two more days to hang out with my best Budda. Two more days. That' s it.

I've had three and a half months to build up to this point, and what a good three and a half months it has been. I have had so many new experiences: I gave blood twice, I watched two three-d movies, I played two shows (successfully and not), I have sung and played my songs for my favourite singers and songwriters, I got a tattoo. I have seen my moma more these past nine months than I have seen her in the past three years put together, and I am most grateful for that. I have had to say goodbye to my comrades and say hello to new friends.

But I still can't believe I'm only home for two more days. It doesn't really feel like I'm going to be leaving, and I suppose I'm not really leaving. I think of it more as an expedition or an adventure, and when I come home I will have learned so many new concepts and lessons, and I will have new ideas. Family will still be Family. Friends will still be friends. I am what I love, not what loves me back. I could never really leave Home.

So, I guess will finish packing and saying my farewells, I'll check the mail, and Pancho Villa and I will go for a walk. I'll run some errands and I'll ride my bike around for a little while.

And then it will be time to migrate. I've seen gaggles of geese flying off in their v-formations, but they'll come back to hatch their goslings at CSUS and Donnelly when the weather gets better. And I'll be coming home, too. It's not forever. It never really is.