Graham Nash's Sleep Song

Sorry for the no post. I've been pretty busy, and I will continue to be busy for the next week, but it's 1:10 a.m. and I'm about to go to bed, so I just thought I would say...

I WILL BE HOME IN ONE WEEK AND ONE DAY!!! I cannot even begin to express how excited I am. The capitals just don't do it. Then, a week after that, I'll be in Tahoe with my mommy, and then a week after that, I'll be Home again, Home again. And then a week after that, I'm back at school. Bleeh.

Three weeks isn't long enough, but thank goodness I get three weeks at all. :)

I can't wait! Until then, I have three papers to write (one by Friday, one by next Wednesday, one by next Thursday), so I better get cracking. Gotta get up in seven hours, and tomorrow is along day, so I guess I'm going to try and get to sleep now.

Seriously, though. Home. Friends. Family. COWS.

Home. <3

Official Schedule : Winter Term

I am officially enrolled in all my courses for winter term and here is what they are:

Islam (and Politics?)
Physics: Color and Sound in Communication
Psychology (of the Brain)
Into to Creative Writing

17 Units in total.

I have class everyday, and on Wednesdays and Fridays, I have class four hours in a row, with ten minute breaks in between to get to my next class. But it's all cool!

Let's see how I do. :)

Friday Night's All Right for Fighting

Weekends in Riverside have been getting pretty eventful with my newfound friends. It makes life here a whole lot more exciting, but it also has its ups and downs.



First of all, I've been staying up way too late on weekdays. It's a bad habit, but it's fun. I'm going to start going to bed earlier, though, because I've been really tired throughout the day and I CAN'T fall asleep in class [anymore]. And hey! I only fall asleep in Philosophy! My other classes are MUCH too interesting to fall asleep in. But my philosophy professor-- oh boy-- he's a droner; he's interesting but his voice has that sound that just makes me want to go to sleep. Luckily, he posts all his lectures online, and his nearly his entire lecture is based around his powerpoint.



Anyway, so, about the weekend.



On Friday, after classes were over and done with, Kat and I were left, not knowing what to do. Usually, we would hang out with Anthony and James, Mariana, Jason, Ben, Sean... Cave People (this is not all of the Cave People, by the way), but on Friday night, it seemed that most people were out and about, going out with friends, or staying in to do homework. We got so bored that we googled "What to do in Riverside when you're bored." Nothing. Really? That's not entirely true; there was a list of 101 Things to Do in Riverside, but those were cultural events with set dates throughout the year, not what we were looking for. So, we started calling people up. The first person I call seems up to hanging out-- we just want to get out of the dorms, and he lives off campus. But, after a few minutes of talking, he decides against it. A quiet night at home is what he most desires.

We go to the R.A. She suggests parks, bowling, miniature golf, movies... all fun things, but we need more ideas and more people! So, I called my friend ______. I say, "______! You're fun and social! What is there to do in Riverside?" And she shouts, "Come to a frat party with me!" And I say, "Okay."

So, we, four of us in total, all get ready and drive over to the house and we all go inside, and it reminded me exactly of those movie frat parties-- people in theme costumes, slutty girls everywhere, dancing in one corner, a bar in the other corner, dark and decorated and intimidating. Firstly, it was up between me and my friend to be designated driver, so I called it, seeing as I've been talking about that being my job since before I got to college. Secondly, I took everyone's keys-- car keys and dorm keys-- cell phones and school IDs and I put them into one bag. And then it started.

It was really awkward, and more of an observation for me. It wasn't like being at an Oakdale party-- it wasn't like being at any party that I have ever been to, and I really don't think I ever want to go to a party like that again, unless someone asks me to be designated driver again. It was for the Jewish Fraternity, and everyone seemed nice enough, except for that EVERYONE who was drinking was way over their limit. After barely two hours had passed, one of my friends couldn't stand up by herself; her boyfriend, who is also one of my friends and officially a brother, kept begging her to give her cup to him, pleading with her to go lay down in the garage. The three of us had to coax her out of the house while her boyfriend forced her out of the house; I got the car and pulled it up to the driveway so she could be shoved into the backseat easily, and then we were on our way. The entire way home, she was trying to tell me which direction to drive, and she was actually right, although I was relying on the direction of another of my friends; a couple of times she said, "I'm getting out of the car now." and reached for the handle; the other girl in the backseat was like, "You can't do that," but she kept trying until I yelled, "______! DO NOT GET OUT OF THE CAR!" to which she stopped. When we got back to school, she kept trying to run off, down the stairs, declaring that she had to pee and that she had to throw up. She did neither until we got her into the dorms, which was difficult. It was hard to sneak her in, she was being so loud. At one point, she saw her friends in one room, ran in there, and fell into the refrigerator. Luckily, one of her good friends in the hallway was awake and ran in there and helped us with her, took her to the bathroom, helped her throw up, fed her, put her pyjamas on her, stayed the night with her. She's so motherly and caring. I was very impressed. Eventually, they got her to bed, and my friend and I returned to our side of the hallway to see to the other one.

During the course of the night, my friend, who I will now refer to as "Rex", recieved a text message from her friend from her hometown, about a mile up the mountain, about how this creeper was at her house-- she didn't know he was a creeper because she hadn't had the full story told to her yet, but for the past few weeks, this guy has been stalking Rex, being overly emotional with her, sending her scary love letters, writing her songs and recording them to CDs-- it's really scary. So, Creeper is at friend's house. It's almost 2:30 a.m. and we have decided that we're going to drive up to friend's house and go get that guy out of the house. But, there's two people who have been drinking, which leaves me and two other people in the car, and only two of us can drive. So I drive up, and another friend drove down. We get there around 3:30, stay for about fifteen minutes, get her to kick everyone out of the house, wait until that guy drives away, and then leave ourselves. We didn't get back until around 5, and then we all passed out.

Very eventful night. In writing, it seems like not so much, but in reality, it was intense, and all in the course of six hours.

On Saturday, I woke up around noon (yes, noon; I don't make a habit of it on weekdays, but weekends here are different), and went to brunch with Ben and Persiah. After brunch, I thought I would be able to go into my room and get some homework out of the way, thinking that my roommate would be gone, but no. I ended up just walking in, grabbing my stuff, and running to Ben's room, where Ben and Persiah were. I didn't get much work done in there, either--we played Family Feud online. Around 3 I decided I would go into my room and try to get some work done. My roommate, when I came in, decided that she was going to leave, so what do I do? I take a nap. I slept for about half an hour, for fifteen minutes, then ten, then five, and then decide it's time to wake up. It's about 4:15, so I call Depeche, as I have promised to call him this weekend; he's busy, so we agree to talk later. Kat gets back, so I go hang out in the Cave again, to wait for Anthony so that we (James, Anthony, Kat, Dylan, Becka, and I) can all go to the beach. When Anthony finally gets here, it's about six, so we all pile into Kat's five seat car (quite uncomfortably and very illegally) and Kat drives to Balboa Beach in Newport. We get a bonfire going, and we just chill, talking and laughing, roasting marshmallows, splashing around in the water. Ten is the time the beach closed, so we stayed until ten, just kicking it. I drove back to school. When we got back, we played three rounds of Bang, this pretty cool card game, and watched SNL. Around 3:30, we went to Freshh Donuts, the 24 hour donut place around the corner, and then went back to Anthony and James' room, where we were up until about five, when we sort of decided it was time for all of us to go to bed.

Woke up today around 11:45, sat around 'til 12, went to brunch with Persiah and Ben around 12:30, came back, and wrote this blog. Today is homework and phone call day, but mostly homework day, and I don't plan on coming out of my room until I get all of my homework done.

My roommate has had a guy over for the past two weekends, and the reason I've been sleeping over in James and Anthony's or Kat and Mariana's room is that I feel so awkward that I can barely walk into my room. I tried to talk to Jackie about it, and she said they would try to leave during the day, but during the day isn't when it's awkward. Last night I needed to come in around 3 to get my blankets and pillows, and I unlocked the door so I wouldn't wake them up, and when I came back, they had pushed the lock button so that it would "pop!" when I unlocked it. The same thing had happened earlier that evening, around midnight, and it's getting even more awkward and annoying. I don't want to be feel like I'm being ostracized from the room every weekend, but thankfully, I have friends who don't mind sleepovers. :) Sleepovers are fun anyway!

Registering for classes tomorrow. I'll let you know how it goes.

SO! That's a synopsis of the PAST TWO DAYS! All of this in just two days! CUHRAZY!!

Everybody's Looking for a Hero

I've been pretty stressed out as of late. Not so much with schoolwork as with other things, like how to get home for Winter holiday and how to get back to school. I feel like I'm not going to have enough time to see everyone that I want to see and do everything I want to do for an adequate amount of time. UCR is giving us three weeks off. There are other schools who get nearly two months off. Why couldn't they just up it a week? And why does it have to be on such awkward dates? December 12th to Janury 3rd? That doesn't even seem that long. And in reality, it's not.

Last night, I hosted a highschool student from San Jose in my room, so she could get an impression of UCR. I felt like a bad host; there's not much to do and she just seemed like she wanted to text the whole time, which isn't very fun. She and her friend weren't really into any of the activities that we were required to attend, even though Kat(herine) and I were having a good time making stress balls out of balloons and flour and playing with goo. This goo was crazy! You could, like, grap a fistful of goo in your hands and squeeze it-- you know it's solid-- but as soon as you open your fist it dissolves into water. WHOA CRAZY GOO! Anyway, we ended up playing cards and Jackie, Christy, and Christy came into the room a little later and they were pretty entertaining. She said she didn't have a bad time, that she had a good time, but I don't know. We had to get her back to the bus at 6:45 this morning; needless to say, I crashed when I got back to the room.

I joined Greenpeace yesterday! While I was walking around with Stephanie (my hostee), a guy runs up to me and asks, 'Do you love the environment? I love the environment!" Yeah, I love the environment. And then he used his amazing rhetorical skills to convince me to join Greenpeace. I have to donate $15 a month to them, which I will probably do for awhile but then put my donations on pause or cancel them, for a reason that I will get to shortly, but I don't mind donating for now, especially since it's for an incredibly important cause. Then we hugged and I was off on my merry way once more.

I went midnight hiking a few nights ago with some friends from my hallway-- we were going to hike to the "C" (a big concrete C at the top of the mountain behind our school) but we only made it about halfway up because we all had forgotten water and Jackie didn't have her inhaler. It was still an adventure, though, hiking halfway. The path is very steep, and coming back down proves fairly tricky in the dark-- the trail is all sand and rock, and it is hard not to slip and slide downward. The meteor shower was pretty cool; I saw probably ten while we were up there. This is the second meteor shower I have seen since being at UCR; there is another one on December 13th, but I will be home for that one, so hopefully it's not raining or overcast and I will be able to watch that from there.

So, I have been keeping busy, making new friends, chilling out with the friends that I have made. I am officially a member of The Cave, which is part of our hallway that is sort of out of sight because of a bend in the wall-- if you didn't go exploring and if people didn't come out from there, it would be hard to know it's there. But I spend nearly every spare moment I have in The Cave or with friends from the Cave, and I have grown very comfortable with them. We are all very different, but I guess you can say that about any group of friends. They're all really cool, and I wish there were a way to introduce them to you (Mom) and you (Anna) and you (everyone else that reads this blog). They are, in no way, a replacement of my old friends; I have realized that I don't need to replace old friends to make new friends. Of course, I always knew that, but I'm saying it out loud now. You don't need to replace old friends to make new friends. I still talk to Anna, Jessica, Jessica, Zach, Yvette, Sarah, Depeche, and Cullen quite often, and there is no way, no how that I would ever stop talking to them unless Southern California split along the fault line and capsized into the Pacific. That would be quite unfortunate.

Now, for the bad news. If the UC Regents approve, my tuition is going to be raised 32% by this coming Winter quarter, and 44% by Spring. I will be paying nearly double what I am paying now for the same exact education. And WHY will I be paying more? I'm not quite sure, but I have a feeling it's so they can "generate more money in the education system and bring back blablabla..." In other words, so we can pay them for doing their crappy jobs and exploiting students. Of all people to target-- students. I know it's not just students; it's hospitals and it's small businesses. It is the groups of people who are below the elite, who cannot afford health care or higher education. Not even higher education alone! ALL education! People are always saying, "You are the future. You're children are the future!" But if they're beating us out of schools, if they're creating situations where we are not allowed to learn, then what kind of future are we looking forward to? We are the future; we have so much potential; we can do it. But right now, the future is looking pretty bleek.

There was even a proposition by the regent out of San Diego to shut down the UC Riverside and UC Merced campuses to save money for the other UCs. Just because we haven't established our names yet. Just because our established name is "University of College Rejects". Because we're the underdogs, the lower middle and lower classes on the socioeconomic scale. Because we are not the brightest, nor the strongest.

This is all crap. Maybe we're not the best at sports and maybe our students don't come out of highschool with the highest GPAs; maybe a majority of us couldn't afford to apply to more schools; maybe we're only here because we got accepted. Well, so be it. That doesn't mean we're inadequate; dumb, low, unworthy. That doesn't mean anything. We're diverse. We're friendly. Smart. A majority of our professors actually care about our education, unlike at the CSUs, where professors use their furlough days and spend their lectures complaining about pay cuts; where students have to sue because the school is cutting upperdivision classes so students can't graduate. At least we give a damn about the well-being of the state, the nation, the world; come together and fight for what we believe in.

Okay, it's true, I've officially got UCR pride. But when facing such a high mountain-- my school might get shut down; I'm going to be paying my tuition and a half in less than six months-- it's hard not to band together and fight for myself and for every other student, staff member, and professor in this school. We're a community, and communities are supposed to back eachother up, not just sit on the sidelines and watch as a few take on the challenge. We've all got to work together for this one if we want to change what is changing. We all deserve a chance, and these fee increases are going to leave most of us high and dry. That shouldn't happen. That can't happen.

We're the future. Aren't we?

Pass the Sardines, Please

I just got back from an epic afternoon at the mall with a group of friends. We went and played this game that Kat calls Sardines, which is backwards hide and seek-- one person hides while the other players go out and look for them. Texting clues is legal, which is really cool because then everyone is like "OH THEY MUST BE HERE!" and then they aren't. I don't know. It was really cool, though. Top floor of the mall + Three hours + Eight People = Fun fun fun. It was intense.

Now, I have to study for a midterm. Philosophy midterm #2, to be precise. I got a C+ on my last one, and I'm aiming to do better. I really don't care about this class though. It's completely boring and the midterm is nothing but a spew of everything that the professor said in lecture regarding the readings. I honestly don't think I've learned anything in that class... philosophy just takes me in circles. I'm hoping I do better on this midterm though. Chances are I'll freeze up and everything I wanted to say will come out wrong. If I make it through that class with a B, though, I'm happy.

It's weird to think that. Usually, I won't settle for anything less than an A-; anything to do with grades below that bothers the hell out of me. And here I am saying that I'm happy if I get a B in that class. College isn't so much harder than highschool that I should be settling for a B. Maybe it's just because I dislike the class. In highschool math classes, I would strive for an A, but if I got a B, no big deal. Just try harder next time. And of course I want to work towards an A, but I don't really see myself getting one... the class is just so boring. It's so boring I don't even want to think about it. Complaining in type won't do anything; complaining aloud won't do anything; all I can do is buckle down and hope for the best.

My brain sort of just stopped working. I've been pretty frustrated for the past couple of days and it's all sort of building up and building up. I don't like it, but I don't know how to get it out. I want to paint, but there's no painting supplies except watercolours and my vision is a big, dark acrylic. I want to write but the words just won't come to me. I even write idea drafts but I can't feel them in my heart the way that I really want them. I don't know. I just kind of need a break.

And that's what today was, I guess. But now it's time to be serious. I've got midterms and papers coming up this weekend and I need to get to work.

After I call my mom...

Aaron was here this last weekend, recording at The Ship with Earlimart, so I went over to Eagle Rock and Silverlake and hung out with Aaron all weekend. Nearly 20 hours of drum tracks for the same three songs over and over again... but it's all good! Seeing Aaron and Aaron was great, and I can't wait until Aaron comes here for Thanksgiving. Thank you Joel and Kelly for letting us come over and feeding us. :)

Besides that, school has just been school. Trying to take care of business while keeping healthy and making friends and all that stuff. I really want to go running, but I'll just have to deal and wait until I got to ab attack tomorrow to go to the gym. I've picked out my classes for next quarter (just as long as they don't fill up before I register in two weeks...). I'll post my final schedule for sure as soon as I get it.

I guess that's just a little nonsense blurb of what's going on. My brain sort of just stopped working and I kept typing and... bleh.

Time to go do stuff.

Overdue

It's been two weeks since I last posted a blog. I'm sorry it took so long, but I've been frightfully busy (and still am), but I believed that you (whoever reads this-- Family and friends) should have an update as to what is going on in my life.

I will start with this weekend, as it is the most fresh memory. On Friday, I went up to Kat's house with Kat and Marianna (they are friends from my hallway, both are extremely nice) in the high desert. Kat's town is pretty much in the middle of nowhere-- they don't have a post office... there is one main road that connects the towns, and then all of the houses are built along dirt roads. Instead of the scenery being dotted with cows, everything is covered in joshua trees. Her house is super awesome. It reminded me of Dave and Lacey's house a bit, but with no cows.

On Friday night, there was a Halloween party with Kat's friends; everyone was very nice and almost everyone dressed up. When it got dark, we played Kick the Can, which is like a variation of hide-and-seek. There was a big campfire by the can so that people who had been caught could keep warm while they waited for their can-kicking saviors to come to the rescue. After that, we all went inside and played Rock Band until midnight, which was designated quiet time as dictated by Kat's mom, who had to get up early the next morning.

Saturday, we headed up the mountain to Wrightwood, where Kat's friends live, and went trick-or-treating. The common theme among us, I discovered, was that we were all wearing red, black, and white, unintentionally of course. The town is very small, but not as small as where Kat lives, but the main road consists of about two blocks of independently owned shops. Kat's friends Joe piled all 8 of us into his truck (however illegally) and drove us around to residential neighborhoods. It was pretty cool. Went back to Joe's house and watched part of Saw 1 (which was not scary at all-- I laughed at the Jigsaw puppet the first time I saw it on the screen), but were unable to finish it because we had to get going back to Kat's to feed the horses. Got back around 10:45 and went to sleep around 12. I had LOST dreams, which was pretty cool, probably spurred by Ben and Miles' appearances in Saw (Charlie wasn't dead!!). Stayed at Kat's until about 3:00 doing homework and laundry before we came back to Riverside.

I still have to finish a page long essay and about three pages of my Islam essay and then my homework will be done for tonight and tomorrow.

I got my first Anthropology essay back... Dr. Harvey graded it himself and gave me an A+!!!! I have not been more excited in my life. I'm thinking about going to the gym tonight in a little while, when this blog is done, and coming back to write my essay when I return.

I have been going to the gym almost everyday, although I haven't gone running in a week, which is what I will do tonight, when I go. I just decided I would go when I deleted the IF from that sentence and turned it into a WHEN. Good job, me!! On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I go to this fitness class with Kat and Marianna called AB ATTACK. The instructor looks like Cruella d'Evil, but she's nice and she's in intensely good shape. She's in better shape than any other elderly woman I have ever seen. On Wednesday last week I went to Cardio Kickboxing, which I think I will start doing on a Wednesdaily basis (Monday is the other day, but I have class when it happens, so I won't be able to go). Kat and I tried our hand at tennis last week after Ab Attack... it was an epic fail, but it was still fun. I've found that exercise, though it takes up time that I could be devoting to homework (but I won't if I chose not to go to the gym) helps me in keeping my headstraight and gives me a time to listen to music without it distracting from my studies. Plus, gym membership is included in tuition and there's no way to cancel it and get a refund, so I might as well go if I'm paying for it, you know? :)

Last weekend, I went to Disneyland with Courney Holtzclaw and Ava. They picked me up on Sunday morning and we went all day-- it was totally awesome! I went on Thunder Mountain Rail for the first time, which I think might be one of my favourite rides so far. It was pretty funny... Ava was JUST tall enough to go on most of the "big kid" rides... so we took her on it. She was scared at first, started crying and saying she wanted to get off, so Courtney told Ava that she could hide her head in her shirt and hold onto the handlebar in front. Ava did this as we were going up the hill to one of the drops, but also had her hands in the air, ready for the drop. It was so funny! By the end of the ride, she was having fun, and we were all really proud of her bravery. Soarin' Over California at California Adventure was wicked cool. I saw Lake Tahoe and San Francisco... but the whole time I was looking for the valley and it wasn't there! It's not like it's one of the agricultural centers of California or anything, you know? I was slightly disappointed with their disclusion of my Home, but it's okay. Fantasmic was way cooler than I remember it being... they have an animatronic dragon now, the one that Malificent turns into, that breathes fire... IT'S SO COOL!!!! Pirates of the Caribbean is still as good as ever, although they did change it to conform to the movies a little bit, which sort of makes it more commercial (the same with Small World-- they inserted little Disney princesses all over the ride). It was really great seeing a familiar face after a month, AND going to Disneyland with them! Thank you so much, Courtney and Ava!!!!

I'm eating meat again!! After a month and a half of not eating meat, I decided that I would just go for it and eat some meat. I'm not eating meat everyday, but I'm not actively avoiding it anymore. I'd forgotten how good it was! YES ON PROP MEAT!!!

I'm starting to pick out my classes for next quarter, although my registration isn't until November 23rd. I have to take my next Islam sequence class (Politics with Professor Reza Aslan, if any of you have heard of his books "no god but God" and "How to Win a Cosmic War", or seen him on the news or on The Daily Show)!! Professor Aslan is also an assistant professor in the Creative Writing department, where he teaches Fiction classes, so hopefully I will be having him again the future. I am planning on taking English 1C, as I have placed out of the two English classes prior to it, so hopefully the class isn't full. I NEED to get into Creative Writing 56, as it is a prerequisite for all of my lower-div classes, but it's open to all majors in all colleges, and I don't have priority enrollment. I'm going to waitlist, if I can't get in, and hopefully go speak with the professor and see if there's any way that I can get added without having a waitlist. They should make it so that Creative Writing students get first dibs on Creative Writing classes, but that's not the way it works. I am deliberating with my last class... I need 4 quarters of a foreign language, so I think I may take Spanish this coming quarter and leave sciences for summer school at MJC. We'll see what happens, and I'll figure everything out so that I can register AS SOON AS my enrollment period opens.

Besides that, I've just been doing lots of work in my classes-- making new friends, keeping in touch with old ones. Aaron is supposed to be in L.A. next weekend, so I might get to get out of here three weekends in a row, which would be awesome!! David Depeche is supposed to come visit the following weekend; I need to get ahold of him tonight and see if the plan is still in action. The weekend after that is Thanksgiving at Joel and Kelly's, and then only two more weeks at Riverside and then I can come Home!!!! I can't wait to see everyone and take a break from this hectic life. It's not a New life, it's just a contiuation and a change from the old one.

I love everyone! Sorry if took so long; I'll definitely try to update more so that all of the excitement and anticipation isn't contained. <3 <3

I let my venom run into her veins.

I just got home from watching Where the Wild Things Are.



This is how I spent my Saturday.



I stayed up until about 2 in the morning hanging out in the lounge with some friends. We were playing games and then just talking and whatnot, kicking it. I slept until about 8:30, and then sat around until 9ish. Got up. Did a whole bunch of nothing. Went to the library to work on my essay for about two hours-- I got my ideas out, sorted through how I wanted to work my sources into it. I didn't actually start the essay in depth yet. It's an interesting topic, but to write it will be so boring, and I'm just not interested enough to write it the way that Dr. Harvey expects it to be written. So, I have to write the entire thing tomorrow, which I know I can do. It's not the first time that I've spit a seven page synthesis out in one day, and I'm sure that it won't be the last. For about three hours, we had a skype party-- all of our friends united through the internet. It's weird thinking that we are all in different locations spread out on the west coast, but we're still able to, in a way, "hang out." Went to see Where the Wild Things Are with some other friends...



and now I'm here, waiting for Jessica DeTomasi to call me back...



At this moment, I am more homesick than I have felt the entire time, for every home that I have-- for Turlock and Tahoe and San Francisco and Sacramento. Right now I want to be everywhere that's not here. Of course I'm making friends, of course I'm liking Riverside better and better, but I wish I had some way to get out of here. I wish I could just bro up with one person and that would be the person that I could hang out with and talk to all the time, but it doesn't work like that. No one here is Sarah Boren and no one here is Jessica DeTomasi, and I would never want them to be, but I just wish that I had someone that I could be myself around all the time, someone I didn't have to worry about feeling annoying or stupid around. I need to find someone that I can just kick it with and not worry about anything, or someone that I can worry about everything with. Just one person.

Not having someone like that, I guess, does help me stay really close to everyone at home, but it just gets lonely, because I can't have everyone at home on the telephone all the time.

They seriously need to invent one of those Star Trek teleporters. I would disguise mine as a shower, or hide it in the back of the closet, like a superhero.

It's midnight, but I'm not very tired, so maybe I will check post secret and play some guitar and start working on my essay and write some poems. I think I'lll be up until about two, and I plan on waking up around nine, nine:thirty at the latest tomorrow. This essay isn't going to be phenomenal, but I will make it good enough to work.

I miss you guys. Lots of love.

Finally

Life here is getting easier.

I've finally started getting my footing on friendships. It was hard at first, but as I'm getting to know people, I've started finding people who actually want to hang out and do stuff. On Wednesday night, I went alone to a reggae concert at the Barn (which is like a bar/restaurant/venue on campus); I only stayed for one band, but it was pretty cool. There was a girl standing next to me who seemed like she was into it, but as they kept playing, I heard her saying, "This just doesn't make sense." A guy behind me asks, "What?" And she says, "I'm from Jamaica..." The singer faked a pretty good Jamaican accent though. On Thursday night, I went to the Barn again with my friend Hyun for the Student Musician's Association meeting-- I don't think I will be joining SMA. You can rent out rooms and equipment, make recordings, find people to jam with, and that's all fun, but the information meeting/concert did not turn me on to the idea. Hyun and I ended up leaving early to get our friend Jenny and go back to Hyun's dorm to play guitar and hang out. It was pretty cool, though.

Everyone here leaves on weekends, so it usually gets dead quiet in my hallway. You don't really see that many people. Friday afternoon, I went and bought chalk for the lounge. When I got home, my friend Asa and I proceeded to do some epic scenes: He drew a samurai fighting a giant praying mantis; I drew an alien turning a city into hamburgers, fries, and a milkshake. We spent the rest of the night just talking and watching Superman Doomsday and laughing and talking some more. It was fun. Saturday, Hyun and I played guitar for a while, attempting to write a song. We got the chorus and two verses down, but next we have to do a bridge, and possibly a third verse. We also played a bit of Super Smash Brothers, which he dominated at, considering the fact that I don't think I've ever played that game and I all around suck at videogames anyway. He got six consecutive wins before we quit. Jenny came and retrieved us and we went back to her dorms and watched a movie in their lounge. Around sixish, I went back to my rooms to find out the plan for the rest of the night.

Christy, one of the staff members in my hallway, and Asa came over for about an hour and played cards and listening to music. At around 8 p.m. I went over to B-side (A and B are connected by a lounge) and listened to their awkward conversations, until it was time to go. A large group of us, twelve or thirteen or so, went to go see Couples Retreat; It was okay--average, in my opinion. Afterward, we all went to Denny's (at midnight!) and then walked back to the dorms around 1:30, where everyone stayed up talking in the hallway until about 2:30, before we all dispersed for bed. It was quite entertaining.

Today is my quiet day. The day that I need to complete all my readings for Monday and Tuesday and get any necessary work finished; I've been keeping on top of my homework very well, usually finishing it before I go out and do anything with anyone, so no need to worry that my social life is getting in the way of my academics. It's not, and it will not.

In anthropology, we're reading about human exhibitionism at world fairs throughout the past century and in the present-- Body Worlds counts. Anthropology is definitely changing my perspective even more on how to interact with people and evaluate what they're saying, and eliminating my idea of 'race'. I mean, I've long had the thought that "people are people" but this class is solidifying that belief for me. Dr. Harvey continues to be engaging, while the readings continue to be boring, but it's a balance. I know that when I'm done with the readings, he will find a clever way to explain everything that I have read that I need to know.

I actually need to go do the anthropology reading now, but that is a small synopsis of what has been happening (socially) in my life in the past couple of days.

Just because I'm starting to like it better here doesn't mean that I don't want to be at Home. If I could come Home every weekend, I would, and I'm jealous of everyone who gets to do so. But I'm learning to cope with it.

Andy

This afternoon, I went to go see the 3-D Double Feature of Toy Story 1 and 2 with my friend Danny; it... was... AWESOME. I haven't seen that movie in so long, and seeing a movie from my childhood in a movie theater was super cool. I can't wait for Where the Wild Things Are, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, Fantastic Mister Fox, and Alice in Wonderland. They're all going to be awesome.

I've been listening to music pretty much nonstop since Friday; on my playlist:
Silver Jews
Bon Iver
She & Him
Bon Iver
Built Like Alaska
Andrew Bird
Viva Voce
Conor Oberst (and)
Cat Stevens

I have yet to go to the garden and play my guitar, but that's my goal for the week (on top of classes, finding the post office, going to Raley's to buy juice/milk, etc). I also want to sleep outside in the "secret garden" which is the little lawn and patio area between A-wing and B-wing that we have access to. I probably won't because it's getting hecka cold, but if I can get a ton of people to sleep out there one weekend, that would be cool.

I wrote my first paper this weekend; it wasn't much of a paper, only a one page synthesis of reading notes, lectures, and discussions, but it was enough to keep me occupied. It wasn't too hard, except for that Dr. Harvey didn't really give us any guidelines on format, just what he expected; I guess I wasn't expecting him to. Luckily, I brought my notes from Mrs. Asgill and Mr. Huth's class and used information that I had shoved in my brain from back then, and so it went smoothly. I hope it's adequate; I have four more of these types of papers to write for Doctor Harvey, plus two longer (research?) papers; three to go in philosophy, and three to go in Islam as well.

We're getting past the introductions in the Qur'an and actually starting to read passages, and I'm surprised to see the differences between the cultures then and now; the suras are meant for the peoples of the culture in which it was delivered, so when people read it now, they apply it to their own culture and time and think that whatever the Qur'an says is what goes, but really, it's not supposed to be that way completely. I don't know; I still have a lot to learn. I was talking to one person in my class, a devout Muslim, and we got to the topic of how to follow the religion, and this is what he told me: "For instance, pork. I don't eat pork because the religion says not to; I don't eat pork because it's a filthy animal." I don't eat pork either, but I don't think it's filthy. A pig won't eat itself to death, but a goat will; why pigs? why not goats? Anyway, it was intense to see someone other than the Christians I am used to in Turlock express their way of life so passionately.

Philosophy is weird. My mind isn't really working for that class; I understand what's going on, but my questions keep leading me in circles. I kind of think that's the point; after all, in Euthyphro, that's how Socrates leads Euthyphro: in circles. I'm afraid of writing an essay for that class, though, because I am afraid it will get me nowhere. I'm sure once we move onto the next text and I finally have something to compare it to, it will be easier.

I still have my Anthropology reading to do for tomorrow, and I was thinking about starting my Islam reading for Thursday.

I've been embroidering a lot; a patch and Papou's jacket (it finally says "Gus" again!), and next is my plain black dress. I'm still deliberating whether or not the black dress should have a deep-sea diving theme (scary fish that you don't really see, like angler fish); cartoony under-the-sea (happy octopus, squid versus whale, etc), or constellations, or piracy. So, yeah, if you want to make a suggestion, please do. I'd like to start it soon, though, so I can actually wear it.

Ummm.... yeah. I haven't been taking pictures yet, but I'm going to start real soon (as in, tomorrow?). So, yeah, I guess I'll be posting those.

Alright. I guess it's time to start my reading. I still miss Home, and can't stop that jealous feeling everytime I hear someone say, "I'm going home for the weekend," but it's getting easier to live here. Even though there is nothing to do. It's like Turlock (without cows and rivers), but five times bigger. =P

Fu Inle'

It has been surprisingly chilly these past two days; yesterday, in the morning, and today, most of the day. I suppose it's nearly 80 degrees now, but that's still colder than normal. Summer is officially over, and I am not looking forward to the coming of Winter, even though it is a season away. Eventually, the leaves will fall and it will start to rain. I mean, I hope it rains and I hope it snows, but I just wish that it didn't have to rain in order for the land to be healthier; on either spectrum, there are positives and negatives.

I am getting to like UCR a bit more now that I am getting more used to it, though I still am trying to find ways to transfer to a northern California school, preferably San Francisco State or UC Berkeley. Yesterday, I got a reply email from San Francisco informing me that, because of budget cuts, their school was no longer accepting transfers for undergrads or for students with less than 60 transferable credits; by the end of the year, with the units that I have planned to take, I will only have 53 units. That's seven short. I was thinking that I could compensate by taking at least 7 units in summer school, but at the moment, I am unsure of what to do. I will have to do some more thinking and planning and figure it out. I have not yet recieved any information from Berkeley regarding their transfer program. I don't understand why it's so hard to transfer, especially from a UC to a UC, as long as I were able to get into the school, from a UC to a CSU, which I already got into and declined to attend.

My classes are going well. My favourite class so far has got to be Cultural Anthropology; the professor, Dr. Harvey, is very lively, and makes everything seem so interesting, which it is. But he manipulates it somehow to make it even more interesting, if you can understand that. I'm not really sure how I would go about describing what he does and says to make it so fun; it's almost a "you had to be there" situation. Islam is also a very good class, although the progression is slower than I was hoping. I don't feel as though I've learned much yet, in any of my classes, really, but I know that this is just an introduction, basics before we get into the heavier information, so I am focusing and getting all my homework done when it is assigned. However, one of my books has not yet arrived, and so I have to go to the library whenever Dr. Ali posts a new reading from that book; luckily, he hasn't posted any major readings, just an introduction, and I have nothing much to worry about yet. Philosophy is good too. Not really much to say about that. We're reading Euthyphro and focusing now on the question, "Are things pious because they are loved by the gods, or are they loved by the gods because they are pious?" I finished reading the text this morning, but I have to go back and read the second half over again; there's something I'm missing.

A few days ago, I went to an LGBT meeting to learn about how I can become part of the Allies program, which is a group of students who support LGBT people and feel that they deserve the same human rights that, are, well, human rights. Yeah. You get it. Anyway, the seminar that I would have to attend to become an Ally happens to conflict with one of my classes, by an hour (it's a three hour seminar), and I would not be able to arrive late. I was told that I could talk to my RA and that if we can find ten people who are willing to go through seminar, that they would hold another seminar for any ten people who were willing to be there. I'm going to talk to Dani (our RA) soon and see what I can do. Tomorrow, I'm going to a meeting for the HOST program, which is a program where college students have a highschool student interesting in coming to UCR shadow them to classes and stay the night in their dormroom; where you talk to them about all of the opportunities available at UCR, different organizations they can join, classes they can take, etc. I think it would be a neat opportunity, so I have signed up, and in order to complete the sign-up process, I also have to go to that meeting.

I also bought a ticket to go see Maya Angelou speak on October 22nd here at UCR, which is going to be AWESOME.

I have been making new friends, and have been talking to people easier, though I still have a hard time falling asleep at night and staying asleep throughout the night. I'm not sure it will get easier; sleeping on a bed is strange, even though it is an uncomfortable bed (which I enjoy).

And now, for a story:

I had been in my friend Jason's room, discussing Islam readings and homework, and just talking about where we're from, giving one another tours of our hometowns on google maps. I decided that I should probably go do the homework that I had forgotten to do, and so I went back to my room and walked to the bed... but before I sat down, I noticed something strange. "It smells like burning in here." "It's just my hair straightener; I have to clean it," my roommate answered calmly. No more than thirty seconds later, the fire alarm went off. Everyone in the hallway began to file out of the hallway into the stairwell, where we noticed that the four floors above us as well as B-wing were also filing out. As we got outside, we noticed that the F-wing of East Lo was also leaving their building. EVERYONE was evacuating. My roommate and I were both dreading the possibility that the hair straightener had caused the alarm to go off and 12 floors of students to be evacuated from rooms. So, we're all standing outside, listening to everyone complaining (I bet B-side burned another cookie; I was doing laundry; etc...), waiting for them to announce the reason that the fire alarm went off. After ten or fifteen minutes, a woman comes out with a megaphone: "Attention. Attention! Good job guys. Just so you know, this was a drill! You all did excellently. You can go back to your rooms now." Thank goodness; just a drill. STILL. What a coincidence.

And yes; that is the most excitement that I have had in the past week. I'm sure more exciting things will happen as the week(s) progress, but for now, this is all.

ground control to major tom.

I am finally settled into UC Riverside. I know how to get to all my classes, I have found the closest grocery store and Bank of America (walking distance-- a long walk); nearly all my books are ordered, with the exception of my anthropology books and one of my Islam books. I am set.

I arrived Sunday morning. My roommate was already here and her side of the room was already all cleaned up. My side of the room is... far from organized. It will be, but here is why I have yet to complete the organization process: my bed is too low. My dresser doesn't fit under my bed. Because my dresser doesn't fit under the bed right now, it's just sitting in the middle of the room, waiting for it's turn to be put away, just like everything else in my room. I have had to start a little pile of things in my closet on top of my trunk/chest (which will be going under the bed later, for easier access). It's all quite a mess. I would adjust it myself, but I was told that there is a $500 fine for doing so, so I believe I will just wait for housing to respond to my request, no matter how long that may be.

I have made a few friends, two or three in my hallway, three or four from different dorms, and one that lives off campus. I have been taking long walks everyday. Today, Josh and James [two people that I met last night at the West Lothian (that's my dorm) ice cream social] and I all took a walk in the botanical gardens. I didn't realize how large the garden was until we reached a point where we could see the entire campus below and the valley beyond. It's really nice in the garden, and I'm thinking about doing a lot of my studying there. It's peaceful and quiet, and the people that I've talked to that work there are all very nice.

Tomorrow is my first day of class: I have Philosophy at 9 - 10:30 in the morning, and one of my Islam classes, or it could possibly be the Islam partner class, sort of like a CHASS (College of Humanities, Arts, and Social Sciences) intro class maybe? I'm not sure what it's going to be, but I have it in the early afternoon sometime. Friday, I only have two classes: Anthropology and another of my Islam/CHASS classes-- then it's my first weekend of of studying and assignments.

So, that's a brief update. Nothing too exciting. Dancing Dave Burtch gave me 8 gigs of music, and it's ALL good, so I'm pretty stoked-- I've been listening to it a lot, and trying to write some stories. Maybe I'll try to post some when they're done. They're sort of just practice-- I'm inspired and I have ideas, but the words just won't come out the way I was hoping they would, so I'll keep drafting and forming until it's right, and even then it might not be right. We'll see what happens.

And that's it for now, I suppose. I miss everyone!

i wake up alone knock loud i'm home

I am at a loss of what to say. It's Thursday. I have two more days at home, two more days to say goodbye to everyone. Two more days to check and sort the mail. Two more days to build my nest on the living room floor and sleep with Pancho curled up on my pillow. Two more days to hang out with my best Budda. Two more days. That' s it.

I've had three and a half months to build up to this point, and what a good three and a half months it has been. I have had so many new experiences: I gave blood twice, I watched two three-d movies, I played two shows (successfully and not), I have sung and played my songs for my favourite singers and songwriters, I got a tattoo. I have seen my moma more these past nine months than I have seen her in the past three years put together, and I am most grateful for that. I have had to say goodbye to my comrades and say hello to new friends.

But I still can't believe I'm only home for two more days. It doesn't really feel like I'm going to be leaving, and I suppose I'm not really leaving. I think of it more as an expedition or an adventure, and when I come home I will have learned so many new concepts and lessons, and I will have new ideas. Family will still be Family. Friends will still be friends. I am what I love, not what loves me back. I could never really leave Home.

So, I guess will finish packing and saying my farewells, I'll check the mail, and Pancho Villa and I will go for a walk. I'll run some errands and I'll ride my bike around for a little while.

And then it will be time to migrate. I've seen gaggles of geese flying off in their v-formations, but they'll come back to hatch their goslings at CSUS and Donnelly when the weather gets better. And I'll be coming home, too. It's not forever. It never really is.

the test begins

So, this is what it comes down to: a blog.

I never thought I would have a "real" blog, but after much contemplation, I figured it would be an important element in keeping my friends and family up-to-date on the goings-on of my life as I embark on this great adventure, what I have deemed:

"The Experiment; The Expansion; The Louisiana Purchase of My Life"

In these short eighteen years, I have had experiences that I will never forget, good and bad; I have made friends that I will never part with; I have found Family...

...but this is no time to dwell on Peter Pan sentiments. I will say what he neglected to; "To live will be an awfully big adventure." All fledglings learn to fly, and now it's my turn to leave the nest, but I'll always follow the migratory patterns ingrained in me. I will always be able to find Home.